Lost

Lost and dazed in this utter confusion.

Worry has struck my heart as it has all hearts.

Am I being who she wants me to be?

Am I really the phony I appear to be?

I gaze at her and pray for the miracle that she sees me in the same light as I see her.

Is this love…?  What is love anyway?

Why do I torture myself with worry and jealousy?

Am I jealous?  Is there a reason for it?

Jealousy can kill love.

Why is it that simple conversing can strike a jealous nerve?

The nerve it hits hurts like the last gasp of air before death.

Can I relax and stop trying so hard?

Will I make her run from me with my worries and anguish?

We touch, we laugh today…

but I want to be part of her past…

“Remember this…remember that?”

But no: fear of rejection tore me away from that line of hope.

Why so much fear?

I only wish I were brave – only to love, and not be afraid.

Flashback of the past:

“I don’t stay in relationships long…

“I get sick of them…”

Am I wrecking it with worry?

I don’t know, but this is how I am.

I love you, I love you.  I love you so much it hurts.

Comfort me as I comfort you.

I need your love and your smile.

Pour yourself into me, and I will no longer be lost from you.

Protector and Provider

Lover

Keep you Safe

For now…

I am lost…………..